Love this. USA!
Jon Elder (@BlackLabelAdvsr)
The World Cup has transformed the United States into the world’s most overwhelming Discovery Channel special.
And the visitors are not coping.
In the absolute best way possible.
Here’s what they’re uncovering:
Public restrooms you can actually use without paying.
Water that shows up at the table for free.
Unlimited refills on coffee, soda, and sweet tea.
Chips and salsa arriving before you even ask.
Warm bread served with dinner, no extra charge.
Ice in every drink like it’s a basic human right.
Air conditioning that’s standard everywhere—not a climate crime.
Parking right next to the building you’re visiting.
Drive-thrus that deliver food straight to your car.
Ranch dressing available by the jug.
Tex-Mex that defies description and demands to be experienced.
Dentists who actually fix things.
And Buc-ee’s… which simply breaks language.
Then they discovered American grocery stores.
Five colossal ones within a single mile, each the size of an airplane hangar.
A single refrigerated aisle offering every cut of beef, pork, lamb, veal, and poultry known to humanity—at 10 a.m. on a random Tuesday.
The Germans stood motionless in the meat section for nearly an hour.
Silent.
Rebooting.
Suddenly, the lack of passenger trains makes perfect sense.
Why bother with trains when the roads are wide enough for the vehicles we actually drive, parking lots stretch like small nations, and decent airports dot every city worth going to?
The Germans are now smuggling ranch dressing home by the bottle.
The Dutch tasted queso and temporarily forgot how to form sentences.
The Japanese are documenting H-E-B like it’s the Sistine Chapel.
The Czechs have been spotted openly weeping with joy in West, Texas.
Welcome to America. 🇺🇸
The greatest country on Earth.
— https://nitter.net/BlackLabelAdvsr/status/2068347455834395068#m