90% of the time shame doesn't tell you: “I'm feeling ashamed.”
It can sound like:
“Don't admit you're wrong.”
“I don't want to talk about it.”
“It doesn't matter.”
“I'm not wrong, you're wrong.”
Author @FU_joehudson claims 90% of the time shame does not identify itself by…
Brief
The tweet from @FU_joehudson (2026-07-31) asserts that shame rarely labels itself directly—about 90% of the time—and instead shows up as defensive or avoidant language. The author gives four concrete examples of how shame can sound: refusal to admit error, shutting down conversation, minimizing feelings, and blaming others.
Why it matters
Author @FU_joehudson claims 90% of the time shame does not identify itself by saying “I'm feeling ashamed.”
Key details
- Shame often appears as defensive or dismissive self-talk, exemplified by phrases listed by the author: “Don't admit you're wrong,” “I don't want to talk about it,” “It doesn't matter,” and “I'm not wrong, you're wrong.”