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On 2026-08-04 @james406 posted that in a big company you must answer what you do…

2026-08-04 · 19:00 UTC ·@james406 ·1 min read

Brief

@james406 (2026-08-04) offers satirical guidance for employees in large companies: when an authority asks what you do, answer with ONLY one of ten canned responses—examples include 'i'm the ideas guy', 'we're building AGI using proprietary company data, currently pre-training', or evasive buzzword lines. He adds 'ideally say all of these at once.'

Why it matters

On 2026-08-04 @james406 posted that in a big company you must answer what you do with ONLY one of ten canned responses (examples: 'i'm the ideas guy', 'we're building AGI using proprietary company data, currently pre-training').

Key details

  • The ten responses mix evasive/legal lines, hierarchy deflection ('i'm 7 levels away from the CEO'), performative avoidance ('uhhhh sorry i have to hop on a quick call'), buzzword job-speak ('shifting paradigms, promoting synergies, and picking low-hanging fruit'), and product claims ('i hand-craft all the answers... on our chatbot').
  • The author explicitly advises to 'ideally say all of these at once,' framing the list as satirical guidance to mask real work and highlight corporate obfuscation and hype.
Source evidence

if you work in a big company, inevitably, someone with authority is going to ask you what you do.

it's imperative you respond with ONLY one of these options:

  • i'm the ideas guy
  • sorry, my division is under strict NDA
  • listen buddy, i'm 7 levels away from the CEO, i don't appreciate your tone
  • we're building AGI using proprietary company data, currently pre-training
  • i hand-craft all the answers to questions our customers ask on our chatbot
  • if you have to ask, you're never going to escape the permanent underclass
  • uhhhh sorry i have to hop on a quick call (this is an important job in and of itself)
  • taste is the new moat, and it's exactly what i bring to the table with a moat around it
  • my responsibilites include shifting paradigms, promoting synergies, and picking low-hanging fruit
  • pretend you didn't hear them and mutter something about building agentic loops

ideally say all of these at once. hope that helps!