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@SovereignIM (posted 2026-08-06) argues that advice from people who have 'failed…

2026-08-06 · 18:36 UTC ·@SovereignIM ·2 min read

Brief

Advice from older people who have failed in life should be judged by whether it contradicts how they actually live, @SovereignIM argues (post dated 2026-08-06). The thread claims that many adults in their 30s/40s lecture teens and people in their 20s while being 'romantic failures in denial,' using young people to justify poor life choices. The author gives concrete examples — a childless woman ought to explain why having children is preferable, an unmarried man ought to explain why marriage matters — and insists advice that defends the adviser’s lifestyle is suspect. The recommended test is practical: imagine being in their position at their age; if you wouldn’t be happy and their advice simply complements their life, reject it. A reply notes parents and caregivers often tear younger people down, adding to the harm.

Why it matters

@SovereignIM (posted 2026-08-06) argues that advice from people who have 'failed in life' is only trustworthy when it contradicts how they actually live; in this context a hypocrite (one who warns against their own choices) is superior to a non-hypocrite.

Key details

  • The author singles out people in their 30s/40s speaking to teens and people in their 20s as frequent offenders, calling them 'romantic failures in denial' who use younger generations to self-vindicate rather than educate.
  • Concrete examples used: a childless woman should tell you why you should have kids, and an unmarried man should tell you why you should get married—advice that defends one's life choices is presented as biased and less trustworthy.
  • Prescribed heuristic: ask 'would I be happy with my life if I was in their position at their age?' If the answer is no and the advice reinforces their life, ignore it; older people should educate, not exploit, the young.
Source evidence

If a person who has failed in life is trying to teach you something, what they teach you should contradict how they live.

People will often say "you don't even walk the walk, so how can you talk?" but if someone is a failure, then sharing their preferences and coping mechanisms as life advice is merely sabotage and little more.

The best thing an older person who is in an unenviable position could teach you, is why you shouldn't be like them - why making the choices they made absolutely sucks - and if they are a little smarter, they may be able to tell you what precisely you should do that they failed to - because some people don't fail because they don't know what to do, but more painfully, because they know exactly what to do but lacked the capacity to execute it and sustain it - so a childless woman should tell you why you should have kids, an unmarried man should tell you why you should get married.

If a childless woman is telling you why being childless is awesome, or an unmarried man is telling you why being unmarried is great, there may be kernels of truth in their viewpoints, but they are circumspect because their advice defends their life choices. Advice that does not defend life choices is more trustworthy, because there is no such conflict of interest: it is focused primarily on telling you what they think is best, not on buttressing their internal personal narrative, so counterintuitively in this context, a hypocrite is actually superior to a non-hypocrite. Do you see it?

I see a lot of people in their 30's/40's talking to teens and people in their 20's like this. They are full of shit. If you cannot think critically and truly rely on community and external structures to support your decision making, you are cooked, because western societies are full of multiple generations of romantic failures in denial about why they failed, pretending they are wise and trying to convince you to be like them so they can feel better about their failures.

They're incredibly fucking selfish people. It is the duty of the older to educate the younger, not use them as props for self-vindication after a lifetime of bad choices.

You cannot let them drag you down.

This is why when a person tries to tell you anything, genuinely, you have to say to yourself "would I be happy with my life if I was in their position at their age?" and if the answer is no, and the advice they are giving you complements their existing life, you ignore the fuck out of them. Man or woman, it is precisely the same. You just cannot trust they are not using your situation to cope, rather than actually trying to help you.

Nocturnal (@Nocturnaln)

It's crazy how often parents, teachers and caregivers tear the younger ones down.

Even if they might act from a subonscious level, the amount of damage that is done this way is incredibly sad.

— https://nitter.net/Nocturnaln/status/2085427892951875916#m