A woman who truly loves a man sees the man as the end, and the child as the enduring bond that cements her to that end, whilst a woman who does not truly love her man sees the child as the end, and the father as the cost to bear to achieve that end.
A single woman desperate to have a child is thus not inclined to have a child out of love for a man, but to use a man out of love for the child as an extension of herself, whereas a woman who is desperate to have the child of a man she loves, does so only as a direct consequence of the totality of her love for him - and so the more profound the depth of her love for him, the deeper her desire to replicate him. She does not simply want a child, but very specifically, she wants his child.
Although as aspirant mothers these two types of women are superficially similar, they could not be any more different. For where the undevoted woman wants a child out of little more than a desire to replicate herself, the devoted woman only wants a child to honour the man she wishes to merge with, so that she may each day pinch herself, struck by awe at the byproduct of their love every time she looks at their child. And so whilst each woman's intention appears the same, their orientations are radically different. They are not the same.